Intimacy Therapy in Salt Lake City, UT
Your sex life has lost its fire. Perhaps the emotional closeness isn't what it used to be. Neither of you brings it up, which somehow makes it louder. One of you may reach for the other, only to experience them pulling away. One of you may also feel overwhelmed with anxiety in engaging emotionally or sexually with your partner. You start to not only feel sexually undesireable, but also emotionally isolated.
It usually shows up in small moments before it shows up in the bedroom. A hand on the back that does not get met. A joke that used to land and now just sits there. Quiet math about who reached out last, and how long ago that was. At some point "we're just busy right now" turns into "this is how we are," and neither of you remembers agreeing to that.
Intimacy fades for all kinds of reasons. You might be looking for Intimacy Therapy because you're:
- Rarely initiating because rejection stings more than going without
- Mismatched in desire and afraid to say so
- Affectionate in public and distant at home
- Exhausted by work, kids, or health and left with nothing at the end of the day
- Physically close and emotionally far away
- Carrying old shame, past experiences, or messages about sex
- Going to bed at different times so the question never has to come up
- Running the household well together and feeling more like co-managers than lovers
- Trying to fix it with a weekend away and watching it fade by Tuesday
- Wanting closeness but unsure how to ask without it sounding like pressure
- Missing the flirting, teasing, and ease you used to have
There is almost always a reason, and it is rarely the one couples fear. Stress, health changes, medication, pregnancy and postpartum, aging bodies, small resentments that never got repaired, two people who define closeness differently, experiences from long before this relationship that never got said out loud. Desire is usually a symptom, not the problem. When we treat it as the whole problem, both partners end up feeling like the broken one.
You do not have to know how to talk about this. Most couples do not, and that is a skill we build.
Here, I help you reconnect emotionally, physically, and sexually. You will close the gap that has quietly widened and rebuild the closeness you both want. We work on desire, pacing, and the emotional safety that has to come first, without embarrassment and without blame.
We separate emotional intimacy from sexual intimacy so each one gets its own honest conversation instead of collapsing into a single argument. You name what you actually want rather than guessing at each other. We rebuild non-sexual affection first, so touch stops carrying an unspoken agenda. You learn to hear "not tonight" as information rather than a verdict, and to say it in a way your partner can receive. Between sessions you practice initiating and responding, and we review what actually happened - not what should have happened.
My work in Intimacy Therapy is Gottman-informed with attachment theory underneath, which means we look at the bids you are making for each other and what happens when they get missed. Sessions are direct, never graphic, and never shaming. Nobody gets assigned the role of the one with the problem.
I guide you to open up to one another, fueling the emotional, physical and sexual connection you've missed for so long.
How to Book with Hugh
- 01
Request a FREE 15-minute consultation
Not sure if I'm the right one for you? Reach out by phone, text, or email and let's find a time that works to see if we're a fit! We will talk through what brought you here and what you're looking for!
Request your free 15-minute consult → - 02
Schedule your first session
If it feels like a fit, let's get to work! We'll set up your first 50- or 90-minute session — by telehealth in Utah or Virginia. We'll get to know the issue, set goals and get a clear direction.
- 03
Begin the work
Here we go! We name your goals, identify the patterns keeping you stuck, and start building the skills that move you forward, whether that's in your own life, your relationship or your family.
Format
50 and 90-minute sessions by tele-health available in Utah. Clients report seeing more progress with weekly sessions. This allows for clients to more easily implement new coping strategies and start to see real lasting change occur. I maintain consistent communication with clients concerning the frequency of sessions, allowing for adjustments when needed. Frequency of sessions can adjust to biweekly and monthly as clients progress towards their goals.